Ahh grade 5. The year my parents ruined my life. The year we moved. I didn't want to move. I was quite content with my small Sesame Street decorated bedroom. But no, this was the year I was forced into a different Jesus institute- I mean school. I didn't want to move. Kids at this new school were real assholes. Reeaaal pricks. I was made fun of for EVERYTHING. It wasn't my fault I was a quirky 10 year old with a snaggle tooth. I wasn't stupid enough to fit in with the 'special' kids and I wasn't smart enough to make friends with any of the nerds. I sure as hell wasn't pretty enough to even look at the popular crowd...they reminded me of that every day by barking at me. The greatest insult of the 90's. I was a loner, an easy target. Thanks to my oh so intelligent parents we ended up moving in the middle of the year. All of the lessons and assignments I had already completed at my old school (which was a huge accomplishment by the way) were just beginning to be taught at my new school by a very questionable student teacher. This meant I got to learn about ancient Egypt all over again! Luckiest. kid. ever. NOT. I was 10 years old when I first contemplated suicide. Ancient Egypt almost killed me. How many people can say that?